Crystals Page

For My Jenny
I know i said the last entry would be my last...well i told a little white lie...i wasn't expecting this and i need a place to store my emotions...where all of Jenny's other friends and even those that hadn't meant her at all could. Where should i start? Where do you start with such an amazing person as her. That smile she had..it could wash away any sadness i had..or felt...or anything. She came into a room...and just made me smile. I remember the several times when i would be at the bowling lanes..waiting for her late arrival..and then running over to get a great big hug as soon as she got there. Her hugs were great you know. She had this special hug. She always clenched her fists..and dug them into your back. But not a bad dig..no no..a great one. It was perfect in every single way. Ohhh and her flirting. I think she flirt with every guy we were ever around. Just the way she was...so innocent with it...not knowing what she was really getting herself into! I just wish she would have had the chance to get into a whole lot more... Moving right along though..i cant fully explain the wonders of Jenny and Crystal without the apartment. It starts before then though..much much before then. Back when kyle and i first started dating..and Jess had a party. Jenny came with emily and ana...i knew ana already kinda...but this was the first time i ever laid eyes on my Jenny...and i knew (between shots) that me and her were going to be friends. I just knew. And then there was Fayes party...thats when i remember us getting really close..She wasnt there for the whole night...but for the part she was..it was a blast! And thats where the apartment comes in...kyle and rays...it was great. We'd go there and party it up with the guys...and em and ana. strip euchre..forest gump..blast from the past..drinking vodka and fruit punch!..this was all the beginning though. Then annee left...and emily drifted away..so Jenny and i got alot closer. Bowling nights with kyle mike ray and steve...and others occasionally!..road trips to london...oh my goodness those were always an adventure. The time she turned and drove in the LEFT TURNING LANE OF ONCOMING TRAFFIC!!..the time when she drove through the red..then turned right on a red and almost got hit from the side by a very angry driver...and then the road trips ended. Didnt go on many more after that one...too much trauma! But her and i did have our girls nights. The night before the 4 steps tourney at my house..the night when kyle was suppose to be out..but just slept through our laughing and my screaming cuz she made me watch the good son and seven! She held my hand that night and made me feel safe..i miss her. And the crocheting then too...thats the night when she started her new one...and i continued my blanket...though i havent done it since the day she left me forever. Oh and i should mention though its in the wrong spot....YOGA!! She was my yoga buddy. My forever yoga buddy she will be. Ironically enough the day after she did it our memberships expired. Weird. But getting back to the apartment..there was our last overnight together...she was stressed...so i soaked her feet in an electric frying pan...gave her a great massage...and we watched Keeping the Faith...and then...oh then...we had our very last Crystal and Jenny moment..remember the name of that movie...Tomcats...the whole story is too long but the just: we were trying to think of a movie...and when we did..we both looked at eachother and said it at the EXACT same time. Craziest thing ever. That night i watched her sleep for the last time ever. Its too bad. Jenny was by far one of the most amazing people i have ever met. She touched me in a way that no one else has ever touched me before. Her smile...her friendliness...her way of listening no matter what..and her good advice....she helped in get through some bumpy spots....and some great moments too..when i was just so happy i couldnt stop smiling...and ill never forget her for any of that. If anyone ever does take the time to read this..thanks. Its important to share memories..so thats what ive done. Talked about all the good times i had with my darling. The last time i saw her was the day of...im glad though...cuz if i hadnt had that last chance to say 'goodbye' i think id be feeling alot different then i do. Shes in a better place now..with no depression..and out of all this shit..shes left me with one amazing thing. Ive been afraid of death since i was little..but now...knowing that shes gonna be there waiting for me with a smile...wherever i end up..im not so afraid anymore. For as long as i live ill keep her spirit alive within me...for shes taught me many things...and she will always be in my heart. I wuv you my Jenny. Keep smiling.

The End.
Alright..so the last entry was dedicated for those that care..and seeing as the only ones the read my pita right now are annonymous..lise...and kyle...i suggest that the rest of you just be quiet. Jess i never said anything about you being in the drug scene. Read the entry again..i clearly said that everything that was going on in your life was your own business...clearly not mine anymore. Im not appologizing for something i didnt do. As for the 'sympathy' part..all i was doing was speaking how i felt. That i will appologize for..because obviously you dont give a shit. As for you 'the bitch'...i thought i told you that your opinion has no affect on me? Well i guess you decided to put your two cents forth regardless...well congratulations...you've said it..now its done. And i what i did to that girl was rude..i know that...i appologized....shes moved on from it..i think its time you do to. Theres only so long after the occurence that you can blame someone for there fault that they realize was uncalled for. As for the tim hortons incident..you had no right....maybe someday you will realize it...doubt it..but hey ya never know..and maybe then you will appologize...again...i doubt it. You have some serious issues Stacey. Why you ever thought coming back into my life to tell me what i was doing wrong was a good idea...ill never know. But you know what..you say what you want about me...next year ill be out of here and none of this shit will matter anymore..just dont ever talk shit about kyle to me. EVER. Cuz you know what....you dont know shit. You think your almighty and all-seeing...well you know what...theres more to him then you see...and i see it. And i love him for it all. So put that in your pipe and smoke it. Lisa..ive decided to take your email to heart...it takes a very noble and amazing person to admit they are wrong when doing something..and appologize...so i will forgive you...but i cant say ill forget hun..you said some pretty cruel things...and its really hard...but ill move on past it...because i can. As for 'watch me burn'...i have nothing to say to you. Your wrong...thats about all thats needed. Lisa you were right...these pitas cause nothing but anger and hatred. So ill say goodbye to something that was once grand..and let you all move along to whoever your next victim will be. Farewell.

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